Slytherin
They are the kind of person who chose their Hogwarts House back in primary school and never looked back. Not the ones who took seventeen different sorting quizzes online wishing they were Gryffindors the whole time. We’re talking about the ones who got Slytherin and knew that just felt right. Ambitious? Sure. Crafty when it matters. Loyalty when they have earned your loyalty. And they aren’t the bad guy in the story and they’ve spent enough time trying to explain that to people who weren’t listening.
Buying them gifts is a unique challenge than it may initially seem. The Harry Potter merch landscape is MASSIVE and also full of lazy favourites. Solid green and silver gloss on a coffee mug. An off-centre Hogwarts crest that was clearly bought in bulk. Items that feature Slytherin House names plastered over them without any nuance of what being Slytherin actually means to the person wearing it as part of their identity.
None of those things scream “welcome weirdo” quite like the gifts we’ve picked out for you here. Every piece in this collection feels considered. Wholly owned rather than mass produced. The kind of gift that our fully imaginary Slytherin would hate if they were cheaply made because hell, they’d notice. Loyalty to house doesn’t mean our SlytherinFriend lets poor craftsmanship slide.
In fact, that last point is especially important when you’re buying for a Slytherin. They won’t tell you your gift was cheap. But they also never forget anything either.
We held that standard to everything in this collection. Instead of asking if something looked good on a Product Hose, we considered how it would look in the hands of someone with impeccable taste and no reason to keep it. Some options we found were crafted well but screamed “LOOK AT ME I MURDERED HAX”. Others were so subtle we hated them. Don’t get us wrong, we love a confident Slytherin. But we wanted things that landed squarely in the middle. Unique gifts that would immediately be recognized as Slytherin but not in a Brass-neck kind of way.
Whether it’s their birthday, Christmas, or you’ve realized that someone you know is a Slytherin and wanted to get them something awesome; welcome to the place where we solved that problem. These are our picks for the best gifts you can buy any Slytherin this year.