Pirates of the Caribbean
There’s something depressing about buying a fan of something a poster or mug branded with a blurry screengrab of it on. Fans of things want merch that reflects why they love something in the first place. Pirates of the Caribbean is magic like that. It landed differently when it came out and has since burrowed its way into fans’ hearts. Jack Sparrow ambling up to that dock doing nothing but puffing his chest out and steering a sinking ship is one of cinema’s finest character introductions. The world it created; rum, sea salt, cursed gold and most of all that incredible score, wormed its way into fans’ skins and never left.
So when your boss’ husband loves this franchise and has a birthday coming up, or your niece is into it and Christmas is next week, or you just want to find that person who has watched the Black Pearl sail into battle more times than they care to admit, you’re faced with the same issue we always are. 90% of Pirates merchandise is trash. It’s cheap. It was licensed and then promptly abandoned by whoever signed it. We didn’t want any of that shit.
We hunted down merch that deserved how much people love these movies. Fantastic gifts that feel like they belong alongside the films instead of on the Discount Sports Equipment shelf. We considered the collector that wants something worthy of display, we thought about the incessant quote machine that could probably recite entire lines without prompting and means every dramatic word they say. We considered the parents that recently introduced their children to Pirates and watched their little ones fall head over heels. When selecting stuff, we had everyone in mind.
If something was included in this because it was the first thing we found or because it gave us a little bit of goodwill points, then it doesn’t appear on this site. We asked ourselves if we would be happy receiving it as a gift. If it spoke to the films on some level. If it was something that would still be on a shelf in five years time rather than donated to a car boot sale after being displayed once on Christmas day. That was our benchmark. If something met those criteria, you can find it here. Dead men tell no tales but it speaks for itself.